So, I haven’t mentioned that I’m in group therapy these days — I’ve been in therapy forever off and on due to family history and complications, and my primary therapist told me after a while that she thinks group could really help me. So she found some groups, and now I’ve been in one for a little over a month.
I was def nervous about it at first, but it turns out it IS helpful. It’s one thing to have a friend or therapist tell you what you’re experiencing is on par with everyone else; it’s another to get that feedback from peers your age group who are basically strangers that you know really well inside therapy. It’s also really good practice for me to tell my story to people in person and reduce some of the shame that goes along with it.
Anyway, this week’s group was super positive, and I was happy for everyone! Just good things going on all around. My latest thing, is I decided I need a “thing” — so I’m thinking about signing up with a fitness competition team, and entering my first bikini fitness competition in 2014. 🙂 Hey, if I turn 30 and am in the best damn shape of my life, then it could rock!
Also, I joined up on eHarmony.com. I decided I’m ready to get out there again. But, I want it to be just ONE of the things I’m doing and not THE thing. Do you know what I mean? Besides work, of course.
And I’ve been putting a lot of effort into seeing friends, so I don’t feel like I don’t have any — especially single friends. But then, I’ve also realized some people don’t know me that well and aren’t as good of friends as I thought. I’ve been using girlfriendcircles.com and girlfriendsocial.com to try to meet new girl friends online (ha, ha) — my therapist actually suggested it. There’s meetup too, but a lot of that is co-ed and I really want to keep guys out of it.
So, all in all, I’m feeling pretty positive about things. I know I wasn’t put here to walk this earth alone (although when I’m upset I swear that’s the truth! lol) — I know he’s out there — I know I will recognize him when I see him. Not like “oh I know you” recognize, but I will know the man could be something special.
Also, this time online I’m going it with a “take no prisoners” attitude – as in, deleting/hiding anyone who might not meet my attractiveness standards (no, i’m not shallow, someone can be “good looking” and seem like a tool, but I’m a pretty girl, so…), someone who doesn’t meet my height standards (from my ex, I realized I can’t do 5’6″, even though I am 5’4″. I need 5’7″ at the minimum, only if he hits it out of the park on other areas.
Here is my list other than that:
-physical fitness is important to him, as is eating healthy
-he is driven in life with career, etc
-not all wrapped up in appearances but shines up nice when he tries, like someone who can scrub out and go out on a weekend morning with a “Devil may care” attitude
-Likes to laugh
-Goes with the flow and lets little things go
…I just realized I’m basically describing myself. Hahaha. Other than that, I don’t think I care much.
Laters Baby (yep, 50 Shades reference)