Sky opens up

Here we are, at the end of the month, and things were pretty stable with Sky until …day before yesterday? I was surprised, because after a week of texting he suddenly got very open with me — for some background, he got his back scanned, has 2 herniated discs, and is in a shit-ton of pain. So they gave him heroin-class pain drugs in addition to the muscle relaxers.

Friday night he decided to have some wine with things, and then kind of got wacky over texts. Then he started talking about wanting to know why he does the things he does/is the way he is, that he knows his mom left him as a child etc but doesn’t think that’s the whole reason for his behavior, that it’s behind that.

What else. Oh, that he isn’t fully sure he has the heart he used to have, (I brought up why I call him out on his shit sometimes, he was like oh really, when–but then talked about it).

So I said I know it’s not him, sometimes he shows me that same heart and that’s how I know I’m right about him – he said, one day we will see. So he didn’t say no… but, it’s not like he said yes, either. Or at least not right now.

We still haven’t talked about us, and to be honest I was getting a bit fed up since, he doesn’t ask about me at all. After that chat Friday, I just let it go. Figured he’d want space. He texted me Sunday, but was super short with me – one word responses. I was like, why did you text me then? Seriously.

Then I think I texted him Monday, and he was snippy with me again.

Same thing Tuesday… I clarified something I said, and left it. He hasn’t tried to talk to me since then either (it’s only Thursday, so no big deal, but still — no idea how long it would go on for.)

I am a bit angry, or okay, just angry, since I was only trying to be there for him as a friend. No need to bite my head off or act like you’re doing me a favor by talking to me. Be nice to show interest in my life.

Anyway, I’m done reaching out to him. We never talked about us, and what happened during the visit; he hasn’t asked about my life or days at all; he just seems like..well, he doesn’t care. I understand he’s in a lot of pain. But… still. IDK. I guess I’m fed up given I’m getting so little out of the relationship at this point.

It’s sad, but, what’s a girl to do? I have a call schedule with Skarlet for Saturday to go over stuff..

Okay well now it’s Friday. No word Wednesday, but he texted me today and yesterday. So, he wants to keep in touch. Things got a little flirty today, but yeah, still not talk of us really. It’s more keep the connection going and the flirtation open at times. Its nice that he initiates texting… I don’t know what more we can really do than that.


Since then

We have been chatting. Nothing serious, but I’m happy he is back in my life. He texted me every morning until Friday, when it stopped – by Saturday evening I was upset about it and missed him so just texted, hey handsome-thinking of you and he replied, to my surprise “smooches!” Which is something he hasn’t said since he was here (in text). So I flirted back about giving him three and he was all “three?!?!” It was funny and cute. 

We have texted here and there since then, it’s not the obsessive all day long stuff but in contact. And there are like… Overtures of romance here and there (like, he is getting surgery on his back probably and not happy about how in pain he is, so at one point I said kiss – and he said, and hug too) – but still not sure where we stand.

Then again; the other day I read a blog, kind of similar situation and in the man’s mind even though he would if the situation was different he felt he couldn’t given the situation – distance – etc. So her options were to stay in touch and see what happens or move on, since he wasn’t going to shut it down completely since he didn’t want to. In that situation, though, he had told her to date others and encouraged her too — major difference. I know he hates hearing about it (or did) and given the flirting I think he’d still not love it.

I’m also paying more attention the the prescriptions he has for pain at the moment – now he’s got a narcotic and muscle relaxers, so… Is it really surprising he’s like he is? I hope he doesn’t get addicted, or he isn’t already – and that when he gets the surgery he will be able to get off of them. 

Meanwhile, I will just be his friend … Well… Friend+ , since it’s not really with benefits and yet we can’t really date for real. And hope life brings us together. 

Also, I want to give him a longer leash – like, it doesn’t have to be all texting all day long. And I will not freak out about what it means, and instead appreciate he’s in my life, and also focus on growing other areas of my life– and also not ask for, or get upset about there not being more at this point. It’ll come. Or not. But if it doesn’t, at least the door is open for sure now. 

Well well well

Well, oddly enough I ended up doing what the psychics said I would and messaged him. Never thought that would happen. It was an article related to stuff we used to talk about – so I sent him the link and said it reminded me of him. 

He responded a day later, things were a little odd but we chatted most of that day- and it was so nice just to chat. Anyway, I had no expectations for talking to him again any time soon, but to my surprise he texted me the next morning. We talked most of the day yesterday and it got very heated, in my new mindset I went full force with it and we ended up face timing for the first time ever. I can’t tell you how many times I suggested skype or FaceTime and he didn’t go for it. 

But now we have had FaceTime sex. Lol. And it was fantastic. Big fan of face time. 

Let’s see what happens next!! If anything. He had texted me this morning again sooo 😉 😉 

At least I know we are still going in some way. A guy who is done, at least a guy like him, won’t open sexually to a woman he doesn’t want to hurt/cares about. Then again maybe it means nothing but I’m awesome so, we will see. 

He also invited me to go visit this weekend – but I have plans. Hahaha.