Every one in a while, you wake up one day and realize: holy shit, my life is totally different from what it was a few weeks ago. Well, that’s what’s going on with me. It’s this guy. We are progressing nicely… we are at the point where we talk several times a day and he doesn’t like it if I fall asleep on him without saying goodnight first, so last night I dubbed him my sandman. LOL.
We have talked about exes and he has stopped being friends with a girl that made me uncomfy, and he ended up telling me he didn’t want me to be friends with Texas (ex who moved to texas), so I had to have THAT convo yesterday – not the funnest text convo of my life. He ended up telling me I was his primary reason he was trying to get a job back here… yeah. He always had great timing with telling me things. So when I went to tell Sandman about the convo, he was like yeah if you keep talking to him I’m all set because this is sounding weird. And then he said he just wasn’t going to have patience with it if we start getting serious.
Which at first I was like, in my immediate girl over-analyzation of that phrase, WHAT? Like we AREN”T already starting to get serious? You sang me one of my fave country love songs while I fell asleep last night!!!! But then I gave myself a reality check and realized: Hey, it’s actually a good thing he said that, because it means in his mind it’s a real possibility. Guys who have no intention of getting serious with you don’t talk like that.
Ugh. Serious. Just that world sends some alarms off in my head. Like why can’t we just do what we’re doing and not call it “serious?” I just wanna DO it and not TALK about it.
I guess, being 27, any talks or thoughts of a relationship becoming official and, I guess, “serious” scare me because it means, that this person could potentially be the person I get married to. Married. Me. MARRIED. WTF? I’m the chick that dates guys (aka sleeps with them and has a handful of dates and thinks that it’s something it’s not) and then gets her heart all bruised after 2-3 months when the guy announces he’s not looking for something serious. Or, I date guys who I realize 2-3 months into it I am not developing feelings for, or don’t actually like, I just wanted to finally actually officially have a boyfriend.
I’ll tell ya, it’s a freakin battlefield out there. Pat Benetar had that shit right.
But yeah … Let’s talk about New Year’s Eve. 🙂
We ended up going to his friend’s parent’s house in the cape, and I was nervous because I didn’t know anyone – but it ended up being a great crowd and I had a good time. A wonderful New Year’s, the kiss was perfect, and my insides feel warmer just thinking about it. On the way home he asked me what kind of music I wanted to listen to and of course I said country, and he ended up singing me one of my favorite love songs: Let Me Down Easy by Billy Currington, and before that James Otto’s Just Got Started Lovin’ You. Ugh. That boy can sing, and he can dance – but I already knew he could dance.
I was like, here, this is my heart, take care of it. LOL. JK. Sorta.
So part of me at this point is, all, scared to really fall again and give my all to someone again, the other part of me of course wants that … but we’re in that scary part for me, where we’re not “official” and we’re on the way there, which means we may or may not get there. But I guess I just have to have faith that we will and keep my eyes on the prize as it were.
He is SUCH a good guy though. I just am …excited to see how we unfold as a couple and what lies ahead for us. Although it’s a little scary too. 🙂