ughhhhh

Ahhh…ok so it’s like 11 on Thursday night, and supposedly I have plans with this guy tomorrow. But, we haven’t confirmed it, and I’m like – do I ask him? Or with how murky things are do I let him ask me? So I called Steve.

 

He said if I don’t hear from him by like 2:30 to text him and ask him if we’re still on, and if he says no – which steve is pretty sure won’t happen and he said he seems to be planning on something for tomorrow night — then to be like ok just had to find out because someone else asked me to do something    and leave it at that, and if he presses say, a friend of mine

 

annnd i also asked if this was really going to (and here’s the cool part: steve filled in “turn into something?” which was exactly my thoughts, and he said yes i believe it will, even tho it doesn’t seem like it. and i asked how long until it’s a committed relationship – like this is my boyfriend, and he said about 4…weeks.

 

so, we’ll see.

He’s obsessed with my sister’s facebook.

Alright well it’s Thursday – knowing today’s man-children generation, confirmation of plans only happens the day of. So, bonus points if I hear from the dude today about tomorrow, but I’ll place my bet on tomorrow afternoon.

I’ve been practicing my “I don’t want to do this unless it’s in an exclusive relationship” spiel. Hopefully it makes it more comfortable when I actually do it.

And, I’m on day 7 of my “Calling in the One” book – and I definitely feel more centered and less worried about the future. In fact I’m not worried at all. Hopeful. Trusting. Just like my last affirmations.

Welp. I’ve never done this with a guy I’ve wanted more from and already been sleeping w. before, so hopefully it yields a different result than what I’ve done in the past.

Oh, on another note: the guy commented on my sister’s facebook AGAIN last night. He hasn’t written on mine at all recently … and I can’t figure out if he’s being friendly with my sister because she is my sister, or he genuinely likes her and wants to be close to her on facebook lol which would be silly since they’ve only met once. It’s definitely a little strange. But, I doubt a guy would be commenting on my sister’s stuff if he was trying to get away from me. Or, that’s exactly what he’s doing, which is quasi messed up. I don’t think he’s a screwy person like that, though. AND I definitely noticed he was/is friends with his ex gf’s sister, too.

Smoked him out / modern text guide

Well *heard from the boy last night!!* It was actually at like 2:30 am, but oddly enough I had just woken up since I was too hot under all my covers. I briefly debated over whether or not to text back – after all, it was a week night, yes he was working but I would normally be sleeping. But, since I was awake I figured I’d talk to him. So, I was very “reciprocal” for the most part but told a story or two as well. Answered his text with a “heyy :)” and before I ended the convo to go back to bed I said great to hear from you just like I was told by the astrologer.

Ugh and I caved and called Steve yesterday and he didn’t say anything amazing just that he’s going through a “process” and it’s normal and not to worry and it may seem like he’s losing interest but he isn’t. And that we would see each other Friday and things would pick back up but not overnight.

Anyway the conversation was fine – he told me some stuff about his work like he used to so it wasn’t a one-sided convo. That was nice.

Guess smoking him out worked. It took almost 5 days but, it worked. He didn’t mention Friday but I’m sure it’s on his mind and I’ll hear from him again before then.

BTW, I’m debating on creating my own text guide for 20-something males.

To start: When they add multiple letters, like “hiii” or “nighttt” it means they like you. I don’t know why they think adding multiple letters is a plus, but I’ve noticed this.

Second: If they text you when they are out without you and are drinking it’s a good thing and means they are thinking of you. True they might be horny but if you don’t see them and there’s no way to see them and they are still texting you it’s bonus points

Third: A guy who likes you will almost always respond and if he was busy he’ll explain why.  Of course sometimes people get caught up, but this should only happen very rarely and feel free to call him on it.

Fourth: Texting is not lazy. It’s a modern way of communication. Is the phone nicer sure, but phone convos are generally only reserved for “more serious” involvements or guys who just prefer the phone. But, if you really want a phone call and you’re communicating regularly, why not call him? Be the change.

Fifth: Until it’s more serious let him text you first  most of the time so you can judge his interest level and he doesn’t start to think you’re too demanding/clingy/overly into him/whatever. I like a 2:1 – 3:1 ratio.  But always respond.

 

more later.

Drawing the line

Here we are on Tuesday afternoon and still not a peep from the guy. He did make his move on Words with me but… IDK, I don’t feel like playing back with him.

I talked to an astrologer yesterday and she said basically that I may see him one other time in addition to this Friday if things stay as they are. That basically I need to define the relationship with him but not by talking, by refusing to sleep with him when I see him. And not in a way that makes him feel rejected, so to emphasize that I want to, but that I want so much more than to see someone occasionally and it’s not a good idea outside of a committed relationship. So, that’s what I will do. I mean at this point what do I have to lose anyway – not like we have been talking that much, I initiate everything as of late, and if his actions are any indication of his interest level, apart from asking to see me when I called him last week I may not be on his mind.

She said not to text or do anything until I see him on Friday – let him contact me. That he knows my pattern now and if he doesn’t talk to me he knows I’ll get in touch with him. So, I’m smoking him out. Still. Like I planned. She did pick up that he was very involved with work and that there might be some life or death situation or danger involved – which is interesting because Jodie kind of indicated that, too.

But, she said despite all that he is into me, and just doesn’t know how much yet. But if I do the following things, he will: compliment him, stroke that little boy in him, and don’t sleep with him. She said essentially I’m manipulating the self confidence / ego in him by making it clear that I like him when he contacts me. To be the girl in the relationship.

I guess either one of three things will happen: 1) We don’t sleep together, I don’t hear from him, and I feel good about my decision 2) We sleep together, I don’t hear from him, I feel shitty 3) We don’t sleep together, he talks to me more or the same amount and then I know it’s not just sex. So I feel good.

So for me to feel good about the situation no matter what, I need to take sex out of the equation.

It’s not something I’ve really ever done before — but, I will let you guys know how it turns out. And if this guy gets in touch with me.

Right now I”m doing a little experiment with the current male focus — I’m not contacting him at all to see how long it takes for him to contact me. Technically we have plans for Friday, and I last talked to him this past Friday via text, and I initiated that conversation.

The bottom line is, do I really want someone who for whatever reason is not interested in me? No. Why would I. As much as I was beginning to like him, he’s really fallen off. And whether that’s because of the move and his schedule change, and he just let some things slide and then didn’t pick them back up, or whether its because he lost interest in seeing me, who knows.

Anyway, I think I should know more after seeing him this Friday — assuming it happens — with how he acts towards me, and whether or not communication picks up afterwards.

But I’m realizing that, with the guys that I ended up having longer relationships with — there was this kind of “I’m not sure” phase, although we usually kept seeing each other through it.  Sigh. The thing that I am not psyched about is right now I don’t have any other prospects. That will change eventually though.

Anyway, I feel a lot better and more in control of the situation and my emotions, which is great. I also downloaded this ebook called “calling in the lion” which is basically about how to align with what is important to men – and create a deeper bond in so doing. Regardless, I’m becoming a force to be reckoned with as far as the gents!

So one of these days I will blog about the books I’ve been reading while on the search for what really makes a relationship work.  Anyway the one I started reading last night is called “Calling in the One” and basically it gives you a 7 week program to work on yourself and really open yourself to give and receive love.  According to the reviews on Amazon, many people have actually found the love of their life through this program. And, what better way to change the results we are getting than by changing ourselves? We can’t easily change other people, or even change other people period, but we can change what we do, how we think, how we approach things to get different results.

Well…we shall see! Today’s meditation was about repeating to yourself “I am opening myself fully to giving and receiving love.” And an interesting part that hasn’t occurred to me recently is that you have to give love before you can receive it in most instances. I’ve been so afraid of getting hurt I’ve been very guarded and not putting myself out there really, waiting for someone to call me out of myself. But if you can’t show someone what it’s going to be like to be with you -if you can’t put forward your best most loving self, then why would they choose to invest in you on the chance that it might be there?

I think going forward my approach with the current guy, or any guy I’m interested in, will be to express affection – and not just physically. Make them feel special. And not worry / let my fear that it won’t work out stop be from doing anything. I’m going to stop trying to “sell myself” as I have been and focus instead on him and making him feel good and getting to know him.

 

More later. Back to work.

….

Alright. So, I finally sucked it up and called the guy about my ring. Because I need it back. Well, turns out he forgot about it but it’s safe. And, he asked me out before I even said much of anything! He also called me right when he woke up before he even listened to my voicemail.

We talked for a good amount – like 20 minutes – and he said he has next Thursday and Friday off and did I wanna hang out, before I even said anything about the ring. I think. Or maybe I brought up the ring and then he brought up when we could get together, which I wasn’t even thinking of us getting together like that so it was a nice surprise. I think it was before though since I

And it really turns out he’s just working an absolute ton and trying to get overtime in since they are switching to 12 hours shifts next year.

He asked to see me again like it was no big deal, like totally normal, not that we haven’t seen each other in 8 million years. And he told me what he’s doing this weekend and the weekend after. His friends from home are coming down this weekend but he got called in to work two details while they are home, and the following weekend he is going home to try to make some money pouring concrete.

So I guess we are still seeing each other. And the funny thing is: I could hear in his voice when we spoke that he was excited to talk to me/happy to hear from me. 🙂

Conclusion: Jodie – wrong. So far Jupiter and Steve are still in the running. Steve said actually that we would talk on the phone later this week and I would hear in his voice that I’m more than a friend. And looking back, he was right. He also said I’d see the guy in a couple of weeks. Well, two weeks is a couple, so – I guess he was right there, too! Jupiter said it’d be slow going until later in the fall. I guess I won’t really know what that means until later in the fall turns up, but I’m gonna guess that that’s Oct/Nov.