The Ones Who Got Away

Does anyone else ever sometimes think of boyfriends (or, ore correctly, never quite was a boyfriend officially) past and do the Facebook/Internet creeping, see a glimpse of their life and current love and wonder, how could he be so different with her?

One of my almost exes has lived with a girl for two years, and they seem to be very happy together. Dream life. I mean lake house, tons of friends, toys galore, vacations.

My other ex who was much closer to being a boyfriend, buys his current gf flowers randomly at least once a month. The only time he ever did for me was on Valentines Day. Now, I know he wasn’t as into me as he should have been, because he didn’t make me his gf. But the difference in how this guy acts to his current girl and how he acted to me is a huge eye opener and almost offends me, as in, why did you waste your time and more importantly my time if, you clearly didn’t feel anything even close to that, for me.

And I know, I should be way past it, and not even thinking, slash looking, because they probably barely if ever think of me. I mean, you don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about people you broke it off with, especially when you are with someone new and happy, because chances are you put a lot of thought into not continuing it before you decided to break the news to the other person.

But just like…why. I guess there could be a ton of reasons, and the reality is nothing anyone says about why someone decided not to be with you will ever really make sense to you, including what they say to you. I guess at the end of the day, it really means you weren’t on the same page, maybe not for a while. And that’s a shame. But it happens.

I think it comes down to being really honest with yourself about what they are telling you, and not just hanging to to the things you like.

My current guy, introduced me to his family this past weekend. Yep. And his mom is the cutest thing ever. Apparently they really liked me. And we also put his boat in the water for the first time this year, and he let me drive haha. One of the things I like about him is that he really seems to believe in me even when I don’t really believe in myself. Which I guess applies to a lot of things, more so than I realized.

Like, he tried to get me to sing karaoke this past weekend because he heard me sing in the car and decided I am hiding a set of pipes. Okay, I can carry a note, but not as well as some other people. He also would compliment me on my form in doing certain things ..like, playing beer pong or throwing a ball, even though I didn’t sink a single shot or throw well while he was watching me once.

I’m definitely falling for this guy, and it almost feels like I got caught in an undertow and it’s pulls me faster and farther than I planned on. I’m not necessarily in trouble yet but …it’s definitely a little scary.

One of my best friends asked me if I thought he was the one. Haha! Idk yet, I mean, I probably thing that about every guy I see more than three times, but so far it hasn’t worked out that way. Granted is is a lot different, but I would hate to start jumping to the future too much.

I also need to blog about him possibly being deployed this summer, and her hinting at me getting married every time she sees me now. Hahahaha. Goodnight loves.

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The Annoying “Engaged” Facebook Statuses / What’s the Still Single Girl To Do?

Oh. My. God. Excuse me and forgive me for the post I am about to write, but if I read one more “2012 was amazing because I got engaged/had a baby” post I am going to puke.

Let’s face it, being late 20’s and single at an age where many women are getting married and/or having kids is a bummer, in a strange way… It sort of feels like you missed the ship, or, you’re failing at life. My best friend and I were talking yesterday and (FYI, she’s engaged) she pointed out that it really is just all luck and timing.

Today I Googled just that subject, and a whole bunch of posts came up. Some people are jealous of those engaged because they’ve been together with their boyfriend for 5 years and are watching others get engaged faster than them, some just broke up from long term relationships and now are faced with starting all over. And then there are young women like me, I’m sure, who just can’t seem to find a guy that fits for more than a few months at a time. Truth be told, I’ve only had one long relationship, but we didn’t even technically celebrate our anniversary because we were that couple who broke up every two weeks starting at 4 months.

But, someone’s response to a post on Lauren Conrad’s site caught my attention…

Georgia Bee October 9, 2010 Atlanta
I am a first time bride at 41. Let me tell you something about waiting:) Most of my friends got married around your age, the stragglers in their early 30s, some of them for the second time in their mid-30s. And I had nothin’, sometimes not even a date to their weddings. I’ll admit that I was often pea-green with envy and sometimes not very nice about it (which I really regret). Several have since been pea-green with envy when I bought really nice cars, traveled to Europe, etc. while they were stuck with a boring husband and screaming kids.

My fiance is 5 years younger than me. He was really adamant about buying a house and being able to afford an appropriate ring before we got engaged. Men propose when they are ready and they don’t want to be nagged about it. If they aren’t ready, you are really setting yourself up for major heartbreak down the road. Use this time to do things you want to do–travel, pay bills, save money, whatever. Also stay focused on if he is the right person for you and not just about the wedding.

Sorry this is long, but my point is–don’t let anyone else ever dictate what happens with your life. You are in charge of your happiness (icky cliche but true) Sometimes what you perceive to be a bad thing is really a gift. Good luck–and I hope it doesn’t take you 13 more years to get married:)

2 years ago

Ok…I love what she said about really nice cars. And traveling (although, traveling solo is ..kind of lame, maybe). So that’s my plan. I have a new job starting on the 7th, so I’m going to use 2013 to

1) make a emergency fund of $2,000
2)pay down my bills as much as I possibly can

Because ultimately I want to find a nice 1 bedroom that allows pets, and move my whole little family out.
Then I’m going to get a really nice car in 3 years, because hey if I can’t have the guy yet I might as well make the rest of my life friggen BOMB.

More:

Totally agree with ja7975 and Georgia Bee. All my friends are married (some on their SECOND!) and I’m going to my younger brother’s wedding next month.. my younger sister’s was last year. But this time I have a date!

I’m 34 and was with someone for 7 years… he never proposed, I realized I never wanted to marry him, so I (happily) broke it off. Now I’m with someone that is completely amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with…. if I’m vocal, bitter, mean and jealous because a proposal hasn’t happened yet… that just means I’ll look like a complete idiot jerk when he totally surprises me one day.

Now, I’m not sitting here planning a wedding for a guy that hasn’t yet appeared in my life. But, I do get concerned that I’m not even IN a relationship. Cause it could be 2-5 years before a proposal happens, and it makes me feel like I need to be on the ball.

But maybe we are all just looking at the next milestone… For me, it would be having a steady boyfriend, for others, it’s getting engaged, moving in, whatever. So, if I had the boyfriend, I can’t help but wonder, would I immediately want to achieve the next step? Are we ever happy where we are? Plus, once you do get married, then what? Kids if you want them. And then what? You just coast?

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing, to still be single. Despite society saying it should be happening around now. I mean all that stuff seems so exciting. I want to be able to look forward to it and not rush to the other side of that, quite yet.

Ok, I vow, when I do find the next guy i really like who wants to be in a relationship with me, i will appreciate him and thank my lucky stars for having a man in my life that i adore every day (or, most days.) I will not allow myself to be upset over having a boyfriend and NOT being engaged (unless it gets super long). As long as I love the guy and know he is right for me, I will just appreciate what I have.

So, if anyone surfs on in from the Web, if you are upset (because we are only human and we get upset sometimes) ….just remember to be thankful for where you are in life, because the other side of the fence might just be greener cause it’s AstroTurf. Trust that when things will happen when they are meant to. For 2013, I also vow to make my single life the best it can possibly be. And I will avoid situations and people that make me feel less than. Because all my engaged friends are still great friends to me and definitely don’t look at me weirdly for being single. Cause they know I’m trying my best to find the right guy for me. 🙂