Today I feel much better!

Ahhhhh I feel so much better today! Nothing much changed, I think just, my anxieties were getting the best of me, and I am waiting for my new job to start and stressed about going til Feb without a paycheck, and I feel like I have a ton on my plate.

A far as the main crush, one of my friends suggested doing affirmations when I asked how to handle my anxiety over the situation. And also a law of attraction exercise.

I’m also learning, through the Mars and Venus books, to really focus on being positive when I’m around him, and to appreciate whatever he does however I can. It sounds a little housewifey, but, I think with men when we give them what they ultimately want, we get what we want by default…which is really companionship from someone who is special to us for whatever reason.

I think in the past I may have been too negative, because women talk to blow off steam, and I like to complain about my life when it’s tough to my boyfriends. If they were smarter they’d know that we just want a shoulder to cry on, but really they internalize it as oh, she isnt happy, therefore I don’t make her happy, and I can’t fix it for her, so, what is the point of this conversation?

So I will work on that. Not talking about negative things with men.

And, my friend also suggested not doing things out of fear. Like, if I want to ask a guy something… In this case, can’t we talk more often, in this case it’s out of fear that him not talking to me means he isn’t really interested. My friend says, it could be he just isn’t a phone guy, and pointed out we do talk once a week or so. She asked me if that was bad, and I said no. It’s not bad, just not what I’m used to.

But I also tend to ask guys where it’s going, or what we are, or whatever, when I am afraid it’s not going how I want. I phone a guy or text him usually when I’m afraid he has lost interest, or doesn’t have interest. Unless there is a damn good reason, then, or a guy is a steady boyfriend, I just have to trust that he will contact me when he needs his emotional side filled up a bit. He’s probably scared too.

And if he lets me go, well, then first:he’s an idiot, and second, it just means God has someone better than him planned out. 🙂

Heh, I remember when he called me late night and I called him back the next day, he didn’t call or text me back until the entire next day. And he told me he looked at the pic several times the week after I sent it to him, which I had no idea about since the time I heard from him was when I texted him that week, on Monday, and then we didn’t talk til Fri, when he wanted to switch plans.

We will seeeeeee what happens!