Oh. My. God. Excuse me and forgive me for the post I am about to write, but if I read one more “2012 was amazing because I got engaged/had a baby” post I am going to puke.
Let’s face it, being late 20’s and single at an age where many women are getting married and/or having kids is a bummer, in a strange way… It sort of feels like you missed the ship, or, you’re failing at life. My best friend and I were talking yesterday and (FYI, she’s engaged) she pointed out that it really is just all luck and timing.
Today I Googled just that subject, and a whole bunch of posts came up. Some people are jealous of those engaged because they’ve been together with their boyfriend for 5 years and are watching others get engaged faster than them, some just broke up from long term relationships and now are faced with starting all over. And then there are young women like me, I’m sure, who just can’t seem to find a guy that fits for more than a few months at a time. Truth be told, I’ve only had one long relationship, but we didn’t even technically celebrate our anniversary because we were that couple who broke up every two weeks starting at 4 months.
But, someone’s response to a post on Lauren Conrad’s site caught my attention…
Georgia Bee October 9, 2010 Atlanta
I am a first time bride at 41. Let me tell you something about waiting:) Most of my friends got married around your age, the stragglers in their early 30s, some of them for the second time in their mid-30s. And I had nothin’, sometimes not even a date to their weddings. I’ll admit that I was often pea-green with envy and sometimes not very nice about it (which I really regret). Several have since been pea-green with envy when I bought really nice cars, traveled to Europe, etc. while they were stuck with a boring husband and screaming kids.
My fiance is 5 years younger than me. He was really adamant about buying a house and being able to afford an appropriate ring before we got engaged. Men propose when they are ready and they don’t want to be nagged about it. If they aren’t ready, you are really setting yourself up for major heartbreak down the road. Use this time to do things you want to do–travel, pay bills, save money, whatever. Also stay focused on if he is the right person for you and not just about the wedding.
Sorry this is long, but my point is–don’t let anyone else ever dictate what happens with your life. You are in charge of your happiness (icky cliche but true) Sometimes what you perceive to be a bad thing is really a gift. Good luck–and I hope it doesn’t take you 13 more years to get married:)
2 years ago
Ok…I love what she said about really nice cars. And traveling (although, traveling solo is ..kind of lame, maybe). So that’s my plan. I have a new job starting on the 7th, so I’m going to use 2013 to
1) make a emergency fund of $2,000
2)pay down my bills as much as I possibly can
Because ultimately I want to find a nice 1 bedroom that allows pets, and move my whole little family out.
Then I’m going to get a really nice car in 3 years, because hey if I can’t have the guy yet I might as well make the rest of my life friggen BOMB.
Totally agree with ja7975 and Georgia Bee. All my friends are married (some on their SECOND!) and I’m going to my younger brother’s wedding next month.. my younger sister’s was last year. But this time I have a date!
I’m 34 and was with someone for 7 years… he never proposed, I realized I never wanted to marry him, so I (happily) broke it off. Now I’m with someone that is completely amazing and I want to spend the rest of my life with…. if I’m vocal, bitter, mean and jealous because a proposal hasn’t happened yet… that just means I’ll look like a complete idiot jerk when he totally surprises me one day.
Now, I’m not sitting here planning a wedding for a guy that hasn’t yet appeared in my life. But, I do get concerned that I’m not even IN a relationship. Cause it could be 2-5 years before a proposal happens, and it makes me feel like I need to be on the ball.
But maybe we are all just looking at the next milestone… For me, it would be having a steady boyfriend, for others, it’s getting engaged, moving in, whatever. So, if I had the boyfriend, I can’t help but wonder, would I immediately want to achieve the next step? Are we ever happy where we are? Plus, once you do get married, then what? Kids if you want them. And then what? You just coast?
Maybe it’s not such a bad thing, to still be single. Despite society saying it should be happening around now. I mean all that stuff seems so exciting. I want to be able to look forward to it and not rush to the other side of that, quite yet.
Ok, I vow, when I do find the next guy i really like who wants to be in a relationship with me, i will appreciate him and thank my lucky stars for having a man in my life that i adore every day (or, most days.) I will not allow myself to be upset over having a boyfriend and NOT being engaged (unless it gets super long). As long as I love the guy and know he is right for me, I will just appreciate what I have.
So, if anyone surfs on in from the Web, if you are upset (because we are only human and we get upset sometimes) ….just remember to be thankful for where you are in life, because the other side of the fence might just be greener cause it’s AstroTurf. Trust that when things will happen when they are meant to. For 2013, I also vow to make my single life the best it can possibly be. And I will avoid situations and people that make me feel less than. Because all my engaged friends are still great friends to me and definitely don’t look at me weirdly for being single. Cause they know I’m trying my best to find the right guy for me. 🙂