Thoughts

Ok. So I’ve been thinking a little lately (I know, I know… don’t think your way right out of stuff)… and I’m a little concerned about my new relationship, because the want to hear from them all the time obsessive stuff isn’t there. But I think maybe that’s cause I’m a little depressed. He’s an amazing guy and we have fun together. Although, he likes me to dress all up and look pretty but sometimes it’s not really for any big reason. And he’s hot. But he’s almost too…nice, and sweet, and smiley. I mean when we have nothing to say he just sits there smiling at me. And I’m like uhhh… why so happy? So I say “what?” cause it’s a little uncomfortable, and there’s nothing behind it.

I mean he’s got that want to be with me all the time thing going on and I LIKE him but I don’t feel THAT way. I don’t know. But, what I do like is when guys are mysterious and not quite sure and make me pine away for their eventual approval and “falling in love” which… never happens with those types. He doesn’t put me on my toes, granted that’s not how being in a relationship SHOULD be. But it’s like I don’t have that pining away without it.

So I’m making myself stay because I do like him….. and I’m hoping it grows? But then again I have never been in a “good” relationship. They are always rift with break ups and people being unsure and drama. How do I change my core to make it so that I’m happy in a normal thing???