Ok, so today’s post will be about two things — one, where I’m at currently — and two, what I heard recently from a friend who is recently married, aka, at the other side.
Currently, I’ve been dating a guy for almost a month, and I’m starting to see more and more of his personality — I like a LOT of things about him, but he can be fairly arrogant about certain things — his looks, for one, and thinking he’s awesome in general, and how healthy he thinks he is because he has abs. The arrogance grates on me. But is it something that should be enough to make me say “pass” ??
He also has a tendency to make plans to get together but not actually go any further than that, so he shows up and asks what I want to do. On the spot. And I’m like, I didn’t know I was supposed to make a plan. He will say we can do anything you want! So I say, okay, well, uh…let me go Google what’s going on today that we can make at a certain time, etc.
And, it’s kind of stressful! It ends up being fun (obvy, cause my ideas rock) but I asked him the other day to give me a few days if he wants me to come up with something.
He then told me he’s worried I think he is boring! But I don’t, I just want him to come up with stuff. Is that too much to ask? Are guys capable of planning dates — if they live 45 min away from you?
Next, and this is a big red flag, he swears at me jokingly — as in, eff-you (but says the whole thing, not “eff” — ) and that is absolutely not OK with me, given that an ex did that then one day dropped the C-bomb. You don’t recover from that easily. So, no, not OK. And he defends himself. The situation was, some person was going to drive into us and I said OMG OMG stop! And he said I would never let anything happen to you, did you really think I didn’t see the car? And I paused and said, well… I guess, yes, and he got mad and was like oh yeah well how is this EFF YOU.
So I simply stopped talking, looked at him, and said — that’s not okay. Unacceptable. And he got mad.
So we will see…. I def have my doubts. But there are things I really like about him. He’s very very affectionate, sexy as heck sometimes, tries hard to live a healthier life than he has in the past, is an awesome dad to his daughter, etc.
Ok so on to the next part about commentary from the other side — she says, she’s bored. She said when you’re single you spend your time worrying about if you will find the person, and then you get married, and then it’s not a fairytale. It’s just life as usual.
So, marriage is not the end all and be all. I think we all knew that, but finding the one doesn’t magically make your life feel blessed and amazing every day. I think that really has to come inside from the individual. I do know one person who swears her life is a fairytale, even through all the ups and downs, but I think it’s cause she truly wants to look at it that way, so it BECOMES that. Thoughts become things.
Like with this guy, I wonder if I’m putting him under a microscope and focusing on the negative — like I’m looking for disqualifiers — instead of focusing more on the good things. Granted, you can’t pass on big red flags like swearing at you in favor of good qualities.